Limbo is NO Fun (the Status not the Dance)

Monday - November 19, 2012

Battling a sense of limbo, I look forward to this week's medical appointments.  Wednesday's blood test at Dalton will determine if I go in for hospitalization #13 on Saturday;  Friday's initial meeting with my new Hopkins oncologist will determine a LOT.  Is a haplo BMT guaranteed? a done deal? Am I truly in and admitted to the program?  (I believe I am but it will be a relief to hear the news from a physician in a face-to-face meeting rather than from an administrator over the phone.)  So, what additional tests are necessary for the kids?  Can these tests be done outside of Baltimore or must we wait until they are both out of school and available in mid-December?  Totally do-able, of course, but we want to get moving in whatever direction we are going! Then what?  When do my preliminary tests begin?  When might the actual plan of treatment begin?  When, when , when?

Oh, I love to prep and plan and anticipate!

I am a person who thrives on structure and schedule.  I love to plan and anticipate - often years in advance when it comes to Joe's proposed work assignments or our family travel.  Drop-in visits?  Unexpected changes in routine?  Ummm ... not exactly part of my innate nature but often a happy surprise - Alison's Thanksgiving visit a few years ago comes to mind!  SO, I am trying to focus on these cheery examples of spontaneity and embrace the stretching of my comfort zone that this "lack of next steps" necessitates. 

In the interim -- as I count down first to Wednesday ... then to Friday -- I continue to be happily engaged with my never-ending digitizing project and with being with Jonathan!  Contentment is ... baking for Jonathan while listening to "Morning Edition."