Twiddling My Thumbs

Thursday - October 25, 2012

Is "twiddling your thumbs" a phrase that's even used anymore?  I remember my father using this term frequently and then literally rotating his thumbs in demonstration and emphasis.  Anyway, it's a description that seems appropriate as I occupy some level of limbo awaiting "next steps".  Yes, I do have my next (12th!!!) hospitalization scheduled for Monday and I do welcome this extra chemo to bust through that blood/brain barrier and stave off any lymphoma relapse in my central nervous system.  However, this methotrexate treatment feels like a bridge between the two pillars of my treatment plan:  the six completed rounds of Hyper CVAD that have brought me to a state of Complete Response and the still-anticipated, yet-to-be-firmed up allogeneic Bone Marrow Transplant that offers the best long term outcome.  One more day of waiting, of twiddling my thumbs until we meet with the VCU Bone Marrow Team and vet options and timetables for ... what will come next.  Clinical trial or a donor off the registry?  Full 8 for 8 allele match or going down to 7 for 8 allele match?  Haplo or double cord blood?  Perhaps we will emerge from tomorrow's meeting with little additional clarity but it will feel like we are moving forward rather than just ... twiddling our thumbs :)

Of course, as a confirmed type A (except when it comes to housework) I have been continuing to put my thumbs to good use tackling projects around the house, reading up on the history of cancer, and listening to Prof. Adelman's Coursera lectures (I think I'm becoming a bit of a groupie and I do love his Canadian accent).  Today, I have added in some spice by pulling out some Halloween decor.   Child-focused and cheery, parades and costumes, and a good excuse for adults to dress up -- well, at least for those of us in preschool and elementary schools!  My favorite holiday, perhaps!