ALERT: ALL IS WELL NOW and of course, me being a true Pollyanna, I will focus on the positives at the end of this post BUT the weirdness, stress, bizarro-world of yesterday simply cannot be avoided. How stressed was it? Even Carolyn ended the day by saying that she was feeling stressed out. Now that's an objective measurement of a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day ....
Yesterday's most impactful news is that Joseph spent last night / tonight in the local hospital. Over the last dozen years, Joe has intermittently experienced some heart palpitations that have roused him from sleep and caused great discomfort. After another episode Tuesday night, he went to the doctor yesterday afternoon and for the first time the EKG picked up an irregularity. Given the fact that no condition can be treated until it is discovered, we are feeling relieved that something finally showed up. Joe was monitored and treated in the ER and then on the ward, has consulted with a cardiologist, and will be having a stress test this morning before being released from Sentara. While we are awaiting specific advise going forward, apparently Joe has no muscle or systems damage and will be able to manage any future episodes with a beta blocker. Obviously, he will be following up in detail with the cardiologist. We are all on tenterhooks and eager for him to be back home!
Yesterday, my physical health was at an absolute nadir to date. I simply had no strength. The steroid high has stolen my sleep thus compounding the chemo's "odd round" energy-sapping effect. At one point in the craziness of late afternoon / early evening, I found myself alone in the house and thinking that I could do SOMETHING to contribute, I tried to tackle the homemade dog-food-making task. When I found myself sitting on the floor, unable to stand up, dealing with an automated COURTESY FRAUD CALL from our main credit card and cursing up a storm (least opportune timing EVER), I was most concerned that Carolyn was going to get home, find me stranded, and deservedly kick my butt. I eventually managed to drag myself back to the couch and accept the inevitable - basically no more physical work for the rest of the day. I was / am fully stranded.
So the POSITIVES! My family and community ground, embrace, and nurture us even on the oddest, weirdest day ever!
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| Time to chill out |
- I awoke from a surprise bit of torpor on the couch to find a glorious assembly of fruit, cheese, and other delectables in the kitchen! Joseph had already left for the doctor so it truly was / is a mystery appearance and I am overwhelmed and grateful for the food and meal contributions that have been donated during this challenging period. What a thoughtful and supportive community! Thank you, Matoaka!
- Carolyn, Carter, and on-crutches Daniel made two trips to Matoaka to empty my classroom. There, they found Susan, my amazing colleague, tackling this same overwhelming task and - building on other peers' work earlier in the week - they were able to cross this crushing obligation off my to-do list. Arrgghh - my room has been a wreck since I fell ill it New Year's. What an impossible task to ask others to do; I am enormously grateful (as well as horribly embarrassed).
- At Matoaka, Carolyn was bolstered by an energy-infusing hug that spanned person and space to warm me and pick me up here at home. Carolyn, Carter, and I were all boosted immeasurably by the life force and love of a special person who simply opened her heart and arms to connect and share. Connections and love are what we are all about. Being open to love and intimacy of emotion feeds the soul and body.
- Jonathan came home - to the rescue! How would we have managed the day without him? Helped by Daniel who made an informed and victorious return to the Sentara emergency room, Jonathan ferried materials and visited Joe at the hospital. Then he moved and stacked boxes, picked up dinner for a crowded house, and foraged ice cream.
- Megan communicated via email that all is well in her apartment and in Beijing. She may have wi-fi and phone soon so contact will be smooth.
- CAROLYN!! Works her job part-time from the house. Entertains and enjoys her children. Maintains the house. Walks / runs the dogs. Reminds me that my job is to rest. Keeps me hydrated with lemon water. Makes me smile. Keeps me laughing. Keeps it real!
- DAN!! My smiling, cheering brother-in-law will be joining us this weekend from Colorado. Daniel does not yet know and will be incredibly surprised :) Carolyn and Daniel will be "exploring" the train station when Dan arrives late this afternoon!
Carolyn and I are leaving in an hour for blood work at VCU's Dalton Clinic. Once again, our goal is to get there as doors open, whip out the bloodwork, wait for those good results, and then head home. Fingers crossed that I will need no treatment! All being well, Joe should be home and happy when we arrive back by noon!
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