The Benefits of a Fully Occupied Mind

Thursday - December 13, 2012

Math center group work from last year

In hindsight, I can better appreciate why working last spring was so vitally important to me.  Well, of course, my motivation was firmly grounded in the fact that I was finally fulfilling my long-sought desire and hope to return to the classroom and I did NOT want to give it up.  Also, how could anyone not be boosted by the absolute, pure joy I found in those splendid, spunky, and sweet first graders. I may have been one-eyed and absently rubbing my excruciatingly painful head but laughs, happiness, discovery, and group work were an everyday gift and I relished them.  In hindsight I am decidedly more aware that working through / with / in the midst of / mired in that wrenching pain was instrumental in maintaining my sanity and containing my terror.  If I had been at home - without the focus of mind necessitated by the demands of engaging and extending a cadre of active seven year olds - I surely would have driven myself into pure panic with all of that time to contemplate the horrible mystery of what was happening inside my head. 

Now in my "watchful waiting" mode, I am equally grateful to be able to get out of my own (now pain free!) head and WORK.  Today and tomorrow I am happily substituting back in third grade at Matoaka, leaving those gnawing omnipresent undercurrents of concern behind and becoming immersed in the needs of the classroom.  Working is a way to contribute while fully focusing my mind outwards, moving forward, ignoring those mortality statistics and temporarily forgetting that "relapse / cure coin flip" metaphor that is the bottom line for my life these days.  Better to be with third graders, enjoying some fractions and friendly letter writing  :)  As long as we don't have to discuss probability, I'll be juusssttt fine ....