Random Community Cancer Conversations are GOOD!

Friday - March 8, 2013

Joseph's 52nd birthday!  My phrase for the day?  "He's now playing with a full deck."  Gotta love "52."  Phrase to be repeated once again ad nauseum on June 21 when I elevate to "full deck" status.

So ... for the second time in a week, I had the welcome event of a completely out-of-the-blue cancer conversation with a passing acquaintance.  Last week at the library, the circulation clerk recognized / remembered my library card and my name from JUNE when Carolyn spoke to her about waiving my library fines on two books that I left behind in my classroom when I was swept into that all-encompassing and enervating whirlwind of lymphoma ... and chemo ... and hospitalizations....  Anyway, after confirming that I was indeed the stage 4 lymphoma patient who had racked up major overdue status on two eagle books (her memory for irrelevant details matches mine!), she asked how I was doing.  Genuinely.  With interest.  With eye contact.  With follow up questions.

Now, today, a teacher stopped by my room to introduce herself, heard my quick "had to stop working late last year due to health reasons," followed up with "was it cancer?" then asked details about current stamina and health, past treatment and challenges, and proceeded to share her knowledge of lymphoma, cancer, and recoveries.  Wow.  True connection.  Clear communication.  No dancing around an enormous elephant in the room.  Thank you!   Thank you!

Believe me when I relate that this direct inquiry and discussion is somewhat unusual.  After all, cancer can be very very awkward and is often a topic to be avoided.  Not by my sisters or close friends (as evidenced by my recent swift swing through Arlington with its candid conversations and sharing) but this avoidance sometimes wedges itself into an encounter like that proverbial pachyderm crowding us into the corners.  Even when reconnecting with intimates who I haven't seen in more than a year but who know full well what has been going on!  Megan has encountered a similar disconnect / radio silence on anything cancer and it does seem to be a common topic of cancer blogs and articles.  It's just truly weird.  Awkward.  Understandable perhaps but silly.  If a library clerk and someone I just met at work can talk about my lymphoma, how hard can it be?