In the easy companionship that has marked Megan's three months at home, we have recently found ourselves cozily ensconced on our denim couches blogging away on our computers, offering different perspectives on cancer awkwardness as well as the question of verb tense. Verb tense is a topic that we've batted around a bit at home and an issue that arises naturally in conversation. What should I say? "I have cancer" or "I had cancer"? I always use present tense. Technically, I have been in Complete Response with No Evidence of Disease since July BUT I do not presume in any way to think in the past tense. Not because I am feeling ill or even because I fear or have a feeling that I will relapse, it's just that lymphoma remains firmly in the picture. Cancer has rearranged my self-perspective and indelibly imprinted on my identity... and I am totally okay with it. I feel completely blessed to have had appropriately aggressive treatment, reflective and cautious decision-making regarding a Bone Marrow Transplant, and continuously caring support from family and friends. Somehow, my choice of verb tense keeps this sense of appreciation vivid and foremost in my mind. "One of the easiest ways of slaying the cancer stigma is by opening up and sharing our personal experiences. With understanding comes acceptance." Using past tense may indicate not only a foolhardy sense of optimism but also a perpetuation of the cancer stigma.And a note from a proud mom: Megan and Jonathan are both keeping cancer in the headlights rather than in the rear view mirror by remaining active in cancer fundraising. Jonathan is once again working on Virginia Tech's Relay for Life (details to follow!) and Megan will be running in an April "Be the Match" fundraiser in San Jose.
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