I do so like being busy, involved, connected .... After all, contributing and interacting is where I derive great meaning and contentment. I feel most alive and happy when I am out and about doing something dynamic. It's my "normal" and these days I am happily scrambling back into a familiar schedule. No, it's not quite the schedule and commitment I had anticipated two years ago when finishing grad school but it's certainly not the void and isolation I had feared just 4 months ago when shackled (literally) by the constraints of stage 4 lymphoma. At that point I was still regularly dragging my infusion pole around a hospital room with chemicals dripping into my body through the port that still very visibly protrudes beneath my skin just below my right collar bone. At that point I anticipated an imminent allogeneic bone marrow transplant with its attendant cold statistics, prolonged hospitalizations, extended home quarantine, and reduced expectations extending into what I hoped would be a distant (but probable) future. At that point I saw diminished prospects for a return to an elementary classroom, to work, to contribution and connection.
And yet, here I am 4 months after Dr. Ambinder advised me to "sit tight" and wait. I am braving the sneezes and coughs of the world and building up my energy. My schedule is happily filling out. I am now shuttling between two elementary schools, working in math groups in the morning and with an ESLstudent in the afternoon. I may also soon begin homebound tutoring of a fourth grader through the school system.
I am even daring to think (a bit) about the future. Specifically, how do I search for a teaching job with this cancer gap on my resume? Online reading suggests that a great deal of discrimination exists when it comes to hiring someone who has come through cancer treatment. I suppose employers are concerned about job continuity and health care costs. If I were to stay in Williamsburg, I am certain the issue would be moot given how incredibly supportive the HR team and school staffs have been. But moving surfaces the issue. A very visible hole in my chronology will naturally invite an inquiry. "Medical leave" is the appropriate and legal response but does that torpedo my chances? Ah well, I can only do what I can do. I am revamping my resume in preparation for a Bay area job search. Only time will tell what opportunities will arise but I am keen to work, to keep up a full schedule, a busy pace, and to find a way to contribute.
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