"Unremarkable" is a Beautiful Word (+ post-news exhaustion)

Tuesday - February 12, 2012

"Unremarkable" in scan reports means "all clear" which is the news that every cancer patient is desperate to hear.  We can breathe again.

Now I await my Rituxan infusion.  This waiting is infinitely bearable with good news and unremarkable scan reports in hand.   Phew.......

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Time to ZONK out.  I was utterly spent after the morning at Dalton, fortifying myself with some hazelnut coffee for my drive home (I was solo in Richmond today) and then crashing into oblivion on the couch as soon as I walked in the door.  Of course, the mega-dose of pre-Rituxan Benadryl may be the culprit but I suspect that my sense of utter relief must have some chemical effect on my body.  After all, adrenalin and cortisol have documented chemical impacts.  The absence of such stress hormones might bring on deep restorative sleep.

Relief ....  My oncologist's news felt like a plug was pulled in my reservoir of anxiety and the build-up of stress just drained away.  I slept and snoozed and dozed away in the treatment chair during my Rituxan infusion.  Perhaps for the first time ever, the every-15-minute shriek of the pump alarm did not wake me and I was scarcely aware of my vitals being taken.  So relieved.  So tired.

The bare bones of the excellent tidings were fleshed out with  two additional explanations and interpretations from Dr. Perkins.  1) VCU's new PET scan provides much more detailed 3D images and heightens the strength and confidence of the "No Evidence of Disease" report.  2) With this clear / clean / "unremarkable" / NED-for-7-months scan, the odds of relapse decline.  And then Dr. Perkins demonstrated this decline in the chance of a relapse by using a nifty hand gesture, dipping his hand downward ... like plummeting down a slide, dropping down a rollercoaster loop, or swooping down a double black diamond.  Gosh I really liked that hand gesture.  Relapse?  I am not in the clear but those relapse odds are swooping down ... down ... down ....  My survival appears to be no longer just a coin flip and THAT feels great.