As Carly Simon sings ....
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me waitin' ..."
I'm not quite sure at this point if I am feeling anxiety or simple anticipation of tomorrow's NEWS. Am I still clear (yes, please!) of the dreaded lymphoma relapse? Or is it once more creeping back into my system? Emerging from the crevices of my bone marrow or my central nervous system where it has lain hidden, dormant, gaining strength, gaining immunity from the chemical warfare arsenal with which it was bombarded for six months? I'm not exactly nervous or anxious but am just tired of the limbo / the waiting / the anticipation of whatever is NEXT! My mind races .... Why am I feeling hot? Am I more tired than last week? Why did my arm cramp while I slept? There's much detailed second-guessing during "watchful waiting." .... Megan's message board research shows that 80% of DLBC lymphoma relapses are symptomatic; only 20% are surprises. I feel terrific these days but could I be one of the asymptomatic 20%? It could be a long long night ....
But at least it wasn't a long long weekend .... With Megan in Northern Virginia, Jonathan at school, and Joe away on business travel, it could have been an onerous weekend of "watchful waiting." However, I had the ultimate happy distraction of Diane's visit from Northern Virginia. We spent many cheerful hours reminiscing, catching up, and dissecting / solving all issues great and small. Of course, we also ate like fiends and enjoyed some great walks with the hounds :) A phenomenal time with a dear friend. She kept me sane these last two days. Truly.
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