Thursday - October 23, 2014Today felt a bit like time travel when I entered the newly remodeled UCSF Hematology clinic for my quarterly consult (and consoling hand hold from a professional). See that bamboo grass-infused laminated glass over there on the left? Well, if cancer has a specific decor, in my mind this is IT. My stomach truly dropped when I walked into the clinic's new digs and saw those frosted and clear room dividers. Slammed in the gut. Immediately, I was sucked into a vortex of memories from all those many many visits to VCU's Dalton Clinic with its EXACT same bamboo grass-infused laminated glass. Times when I could barely stand up and walk to get my vitals checked. A visit when I knew that I would not be allowed home that day but would be deemed neutropenic and ushered upstairs to a sterile hospital room. Visits with husband and children and sisters. Autumn and winter visits where the healthy people who I first saw in April 2012 were now in wheelchairs. That bamboo witnesses much terror, pain, disfigurement ... and caring, hope, and love (I need to focus on the latter).
I woke up today prepared for a trio of medical appointments (mammogram, infectious diseases intake meeting, oncology consult) that were simply routine -- procedural -- nothing to write home about since I am fully asymptomatic of lymphoma ... But then... a little bit of redecorating - some pretty panels of free form bamboo - kicked me in the teeth. So... it was a long day at 2 UCSF campuses. My plans for super productivity in the late afternoon have evaporated. Instead, I have cuddled with the dogs and walked outside on eucalyptus lined roads here in Sausalito above lovely Richardson Bay. My goal is to replace bamboo memories with eucalyptus reality. So far so good. Time for another walk....
