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| China Basin looking towards the ballpark |
6 months is a long time to wait but this morning the opportunity came once again to get that precious sneak peek inside body and brain via IVs, contrasts, PET, and MRI. Watchful waiting is UP! It's time to reconcile my lack of outward symptoms with the internal evidence. It's time to rule out any lymphoma lurking in bone, blood, and organ. It's time to get that delicious go- ahead to once again breathe easy and get on with it.
The all-morning scan routine is now familiar, almost procedural, but it is still a jolt to bear witness to the visceral fears and manifest tears of a radiology waiting room. Families huddle in the hall on cell phones parsing allowances and details with insurance companies. Hospital-braceleted patients sit in chairs looking more exhausted than worried. It's the families that seem to show the strain. Going in with hair and energy brings on feelings of both gratitude and guilt. I am very very fortunate indeed and I count my blessings.
My predictable pre-scan anxiety has been somewhat dissipated by activity -- work (of course), a happy visit from Arlington friends, excitement and vicarious nerves for Megan's qualifying exams (today!), and planning for Jonathan's May graduation and June move to Arlington to begin his job. Now comes the wait for my oncologist's phone call. Or will he just tell me the news when I see him on Thursday? Time for some more watchful waiting.
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