Settling Into Our Perch on the Hill

Wednesday - July 10, 2013

Our view:  Belvedere and Angel Island

Today we celebrated many move-in milestones:

• The last of our moving boxes was broken down and put in the recycling!  HIP...
• All of my classroom materials are now IN my new classroom (after three car trips)! ... HIP...
• Joe and I enjoyed our first meet-at-the-ferry-then-eat-downtown-then climb-the-hill-home dinner!  ... HOORAY!!!!

Life on our Sausalito overlook is absolutely drop dead gorgeous; we can scarcely believe it.  The scenery is constantly changing.  Fog creeps over the hills to our west only to evaporate before our eyes in the sunshine and the wind.  The water and the light are everchanging with whitecaps alternating with surprising calm.  And of course, the birds, ferries, sailboats, barges, kayaks, and paddle boards always provide interest.  Living theater right outside our spectacular windows.

Happily, all of the furniture fits into our much tighter quarters, the "stuff" all has a home, and the closets are sufficient.  In fact, we have room to spare (phew!) particularly in the kitchen (which is officially the best we've ever enjoyed).  Driving up (and down!) the hill is becoming more routine, the dogs are somewhat less freaked out by the wind every day, and slowly but surely we are arranging all of our unboxed belongings.  Joe started at work this week and has commuted successfully by ferry, bike, and bus.  He is supremely content.  Life is GOOD!

Another sun spot for Baxter

This week, I have been thrilled to begin settling into school.  It truly is a fabulous environment with lovely, welcoming staff and an expansive, well-appointed classroom.  A splendid fit.  I am so happy to set down professional roots and to get prepped for students in a few short weeks.

Of course, hovering in the background (or "lurking" as lymphoma was first introduced to us in April 2012) is the nagging ever-present worry that somehow I am tempting fate with every box unpacked, taunting cancer with every instance when I forget my past illness.  My head knows I am well but my gut will no longer trust my head.  Tomorrow I visit UCSF for my first meeting with my new oncologist.  It feels a bit like a blind date so of course I will dress up (for me that's a low bar) and carry my "big girl purse."  The goal is to schedule my next series of scans and subsequent results consultation for mid-August.

I also need to discuss 5 incidents of middle of the night vomiting since March.  No nausea at all - just awaking, knowing it's coming, waiting about an hour, then emptying my stomach.  At first I thought it was an isolated bout of food poisoning but now with 4 incidents in the last month (and some reluctant googling), I think that I might be suffering some lingering effects of my chemo.  Needless to say, I am also obsessing about stomach cancer ... but nothing seems to corroborate that fear .... Best to consult with my oncologist .... Tomorrow ....  I need some reassurance ....

Our view north, across to the next ridge

Lastly, these last few weeks cancer has reared its foul head once again.  Megan's close friend from high school continues to battle her scourge-relapsed-lymphoma with salvage chemotherapy in preparation for a Bone Marrow Transplant.  Carolyn's dear friend has finished her chemotherapy only to now be suffering through her radiation treatments.  Mark has now been gone for 3 months and I hold his parents and family close in prayer as they endure a summer without their 12 year old.  And now a dear friend from our early days in DC is enduring treatment for an aggressive form of breast cancer.  I am railing at the universe with the injustice of this brutal diagnosis.  She is a physician herself who has been vigilant about annual mammograms and self-checks yet the mammograms missed the disease which has apparently been present for years.  Wretched disease.  Please hold her in your thoughts and prayers.  Her boys need her.  Her family and friends need her.  The world is a better place with her smile, laughter, and gentle heart.